March 19, 2025
Introduction
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Becky Kennedy’s approach to parenting has resonated with countless families seeking connection-based strategies that honor both parent authority and children’s emotional experiences. Her book presents a thoughtful framework centered on seeing children as “good inside” while offering practical strategies for common parenting challenges. However, when viewed through the lens of Patty Wipfler’s Hand in Hand Parenting, several significant limitations emerge in Kennedy’s methodology that merit careful examination.
Kennedy’s work has gained particular traction within the Internal Family Systems (IFS) community due to her innovative application of IFS concepts to everyday parenting challenges. Her framework extends Richard Schwartz’s pioneering model into parenting, discussing how parents can recognize and respond to different parts of their children’s emotional experiences. This adaptation of IFS principles to parenting has earned Kennedy significant recognition, including a formal endorsement from Schwartz himself, who praised her ability to translate complex therapeutic concepts into accessible parenting strategies.
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March 11, 2025
James Carse’s The Religious Case Against Belief might seem unrelated to parenting. But its exploration of belief systems, higher ignorance, and connection offers powerful insights for understanding Hand in Hand Parenting. This approach to raising children emphasizes emotional connection, listening, and working through difficult feelings together rather than imposing rigid rules or control.
The Dangers of Rigid Belief Systems
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Carse offers a detailed analysis of belief systems. These systems resist change and thrive on opposition. Similarly, parenting approaches that rely on unchangeable rules and punishments create boundaries that limit connection. When parents cling to inflexible ideas about how children should behave, they risk turning the parent-child relationship in a battleground.
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February 28, 2025
“Teddy, why is the sky blue?” Three-year-old Mira looked up at her plush companion, a bear with soft amber eyes that seemed to follow her wherever she went.
The bear’s eyes flickered momentarily with a subtle glow. “The sky is blue because tiny fairies paint it every morning,” Teddy replied in a warm, gentle voice. “They use special brushes made from cloud-fluff.”
Mira giggled, hugging Teddy close. “That’s silly!”
“Oh? What do you think makes the sky blue, then?” Teddy asked, his head tilting slightly.
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November 11, 2023
Introduction
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A complex array of motivations drives dishonesty. They include: financial gain, self-preservation, social approval, ethical dilemmas, cognitive biases, and fear of punishment. Men are often more dishonest than women. Cultural and social factors also shape attitudes towards honesty.
Dishonesty in a relationship creates several challenges:
- Erosion of trust: Trust is a fundamental building block of any healthy relationship. When one party in the relationship is dishonest, it erodes the trust that the relationship has amassed over time. Rebuilding trust can be a long and difficult process.
- Emotional toll: Being lied to or discovering dishonesty can be emotionally devastating. It can lead to feelings of betrayal, hurt, anger, and insecurity. Coping with these emotions can be exhausting and challenging, making it difficult to move forward in the relationship.
- Communication breakdown: Open and honest communication is essential in any relationship. When dishonesty is present, it disrupts communication because it is hard to know what to believe or how to address the issue.
- Questioning reality: When someone is consistently dishonest, it can make their partner question their own perception of reality. This gaslighting effect can be mentally and emotionally destabilizing.
- Fear of recurrence: Once dishonesty shatters trust, a lingering fear may remain that it will happen again. This fear can be a barrier to true emotional intimacy and can lead to ongoing stress and anxiety in the relationship.
- Decision-making dilemmas: When dishonesty comes to light, individuals in the relationship may face difficult decisions. They must consider whether they can forgive, rebuild trust, and move forward, or if it’s best to end the relationship altogether. These decisions can be complex and emotionally fraught.
To explore different ways to address dishonesty, imagine a fictional scenario.
Suppose Alice and Bob are in a relationship.
Alice got pregnant via Bob but tells Bob that she isn’t pregnant.
Carlos is Alice’s platonic friend.
There are a variety of ways that Bob and Carlos can address Alice’s dishonesty.
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